Understand the following below,.. it's what you can expect from me typically!
Actually; "I never answer the phone(s) really,.. unless I happen to recognize the number!.." However though,.. it's a different story after midnight. Really,.. who would be calling me at that hour actually, but someone I know.. Or as it is now? I do live rehearsals, whereas I open the line (e.g. speaker-phone) and continue with doing songs - telling stories and just being Matty Midura.. And the callers get to experience it all. If the caller drops-off,.. the next in line gets on board with me!
With that said,.. I 'pick-up' instantly when it's a family member, or something. Since I am a 'writer' and / or otherwise a 'promotional whore' (e.g. using dating sites etc.) and various other mediums / facilitators in part, to maximize web visitors,.. I'm generally at my computer anyway! So it's easy actually,.. to be cognizant of calls - i.e. everything (e.g. landlines / cell etc.) is right there in front of me!
Really,.. "I just happen to be rather cavalier about it all actually..." If I don't answer?? I have a 'voice greeting' (automated) that directs to my web presence and email contact options!..
Continuing - i.e. Matty Midura & Answering Phones - here! Trust me,.. I return calls, if you should happen to leave me a message!!! Really,.. I may not be rather punctual about it, but I do return them. Don't take it so personal,.. being 'careless' about phone calls - e.g. generally speaking - has cost me 'work' (e.g. I am a Notary Public) and missed opportunities as a 'Stripper' (yeah, I get calls for that stuff) occasionally, and other commercial enterprises albeit 'trite' on the surface perhaps!
Solution: leave - e.g. three straight messages - for me,.. otherwise I'd have to be a 'fuck'n idiot' or perhaps 'too high' to notice the light flashing whilst I am at my computer!!!
Phone calls without messages?? Yeah,.. sure I am curious about a 'number' I may see show up on my phone (e.g. light flashing) but absent of message, to associate it with.. But however, my attitude is 'clear' about it,.. and my resolve is adamant; tough shit - dummy,.. should've left me a message!!! If your call is absent of a message, then obviously,.. your call deserves the same 'lack of attention' (e.g. coming from me) likewise - stunod...
Translated: I don't really give one infinitesimal fuck who you are, and what you wanted with me! Try me,.. many have really! I don't return calls,.. even though such - i.e. initial call - is a valid excuse, if you're looking for one (not me!) to call back,.. in a curious context of sorts.. I DON'T EVER!!!
Conversely, to all the previous however,.. I am really 'alert' to calls 'when I get notices' via actually! Why? I know that someone has just tendered 'a payment' to me,.. and that such was for me to sing 'live' via speaker-phone... I take that stuff seriously - e.g. singing is everything to me!... And I want to get an idea, of what a girl wishes (i.e. her song requests) to have me cover. So, I hope to discern that much perhaps,.. if that person has indeed left me a message. Moreover, if by chance, one of your song requests just happens to be; Frank Sinatra's 'Almost Like Being In Love' for me to cover?? I promise to 'belt it out' with everything I got - e.g. 'high' or not.. And of course,.. without hesitation or reservation about it - count on me to sing - my signature song - TELL ME WHY
Trust me! I am an extravert - that is why I was a Barbizon Model 30 years ago, and a part time Stripper of late.. - I can perform 'solo' under some very difficult circumstances,.. singing is a 'piece of cake' compared to some of the other stuff I've done baby!!! As far as I am concerned: it's every Italian's dream,.. a stage, a spotlight, and a microphone...
2011
All Material & Quotes:
Property Of Matty Midura Productions Copyright 2001-2011
The Facts!
name:
*Matty Midura /nickname:
thematt other nickname: el comedulce allias:
Chet Johnson gender:
Male age:
57 birthday:
December 12, 1953 race:
Caucasian height:
5' 9" weight:
185 lbs. (summer) weight:
195 lbs. (winter) body type:
*Athletic hair:
Drk. Brown eyes:
Gray or Hazel / Brownish (depending on mood) religion:
Roman Catholic politics:
Democrat astrological:
Sagittarias language:
*English marital status:
Married (lives alone)
other status: Available (per 2/hr) children:
Daughter (age 35) grandchildren :
Grandson (age 16) pets:
*Dog - Mountain Fiest / Terrier (mix) wildlife:
Groundhogs, Squirrels, Chipmonks (aka 'Red Squirrels) Exotic Birds (e.g. Cat Tails, 'spotted' Finches, Crows) weirdo neighbors:
Senior Citzens (e.g. over 75 years old..)
other nuisances:
Brown Marmorated Stink Bug (e.g. little bugs that fart and look like fuck'n turtles!!!..) Silverfish (hmm,.. they don't look like fuck'n fish to me!..) Crickets (e.g. I use to have a few 'Fence Lizards' to feed on them - where are they, when you need them!!!)
drugs:
Yeah sure,.. depends on what? Not only do I take donations of the 'monetary' sort,.. but I will certainly humor other booty too - e.g. drugs! Besides,.. you may just 'get lucky' with me! I am less discriminative when I'm high really - I'm more friendly,.. and may even sing the theme song for 'GILLIGAN'S ISLAND' for you!!!
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Other Notes
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*Birth Name
Baptised as Matthew Midura, but nobody calls me that anymore - unless involving 'legal formalities' or, just being stupid with me! Moreover, I'll know if a caller 'knows me' personally, if they otherwise address me using anything but my birth first-name.
I mean really,.. I was born with a "made for stardom" name actually, all I had to do was drop the 'hew' and simply add a 'y' to facilitate it.. Most 'Italians' have that (e.g. even the girls!..) by default, with our 'biblical names' at birth.. Whereas the rest of you people? I can only simply say; tough shit,.. your 'douchey names' are really a "collateral disparagement of your Eastern European roots, and otherwise of course - e.g. 'Mayflower' heritage!!!"
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*Birth Place
Philadelphia, Pa. However, I grew up in Burlington City, New Jersey - once the greatest 'small city' just miles away from South Philly, as we call it.. And the home of; "some of the coolest people I ever knew,.." including myself of course, until around 1970!!!
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*Ethnicity
Father - Italian /Mother - German-Jew (e.g. her mother, which was otherwise my grandmother..) & Native American (e.g. her father, which was otherwise my grandfather..) actually. For the record; "the best people I knew in my life were Italians!.." - yeah,.. I am biased.. Moreover, the 'Sopranos' are insulting to anyone that is otherwise a self respecting Italian!!! Additionally, it is the 21st Century 'Twin Peaks' (e.g. remember that crappy series??) of Mafia stereotyping... You'll never see Al Pacino, stooping to that level of bullshit... "David Lynch (i.e. Twin Peaks / Sopranos) is an asshole and a fuck'n pervert - the proof is in the pudding!.. - his work is a manifestation of that!!!"
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*Body
Yea it's real too!.. Moreover, I'll cover bets up to $300 actually, if any of you dopes think otherwise!!! See me on video by clicking here now... As with most links in this site - POP UPS MUST BE ENABLED - to view for your convenience. Otherwise you would have to come back here, and wait for the page to reload - dummy!!!
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*Politics
Although I am 'liberal' as democrats go, I am conversely a 'hard baller' when it comes to defense & military issues! For example; "if I were to spend billions of dollars (via taxpayers money) bombing 'sand niggers' (i.e. Iraqi and/or Iranians) in the commission of a justified war of sorts,... I won't spend 'dime one' to rebuild the fuck'n place in the aftermath!!!"
Contact Information
*Office Phone
609-518-9909
additional info
*Notice:Some of you are really "pissing-me-off" by calling this number and 'hanging up' when I answer it.. So what is 'that' all about?.. Like to "encounter me from a safe distance" perhaps??.. The way it works, is like this stupid: you call, and I go - 'yeah' (when I answer the phone..) then you say something like; my name is (i.e. stupid caller..) and,.. where you are from (i.e. stupid company and/or stupid town usa!.. ) accordingly!.. Not just sit there silent, and give me 'dead air' dummy.. That is now why I use 'answer devices' of sorts!.. To 'piss-off' people who are inclined as previously illustrated..
Baptised as Matthew Midura, but nobody calls me that anymore - unless involving 'legal formalities' or, just being stupid with me! Moreover, I'll know if a caller 'knows me' personally, if they otherwise address me using anything but my birth first-name. 