updated August 18, 2011
real time
Complete 'details about *Matty Midura,.. and updated August 18, 2011..
Matty Midura - 'stripper promo' and as per December 23, 2008. So get an autographed 'large version' of this photo for just $15 now!!!
spacerKoolKat works for *Matty Midura Productions © 2001-2009 call me now,.. here is how!
email Matty Midura using web form..
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if and when you do call??
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Understand the following below,.. it's what you can expect from me typically!
Actually; "I never answer the phone(s) really,.. unless I happen to recognize the number!.." However though,.. it's a different story after midnight. Really,.. who would be calling me at that hour actually, but someone I know.. Or as it is now? I do live rehearsals, whereas I open the line (e.g. speaker-phone) and continue with doing songs - telling stories and just being Matty Midura.. And the callers get to experience it all. If the caller drops-off,.. the next in line gets on board with me!
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With that said,.. I 'pick-up' instantly when it's a family member, or something. Since I am a 'writer' and / or otherwise a 'promotional whore' (e.g. using dating sites etc.) and various other mediums / facilitators in part, to maximize web visitors,.. I'm generally at my computer anyway! So it's easy actually,.. to be cognizant of calls - i.e. everything (e.g. landlines / cell etc.) is right there in front of me!
Really,.. "I just happen to be rather cavalier about it all actually..." If I don't answer?? I have a 'voice greeting' (automated) that directs to my web presence and email contact options!..
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Continuing - i.e. Matty Midura & Answering Phones - here! Trust me,.. I return calls, if you should happen to leave me a message!!! spacerReally,.. I may not be rather punctual about it, but I do return them. Don't take it so personal,.. being 'careless' about phone calls - e.g. generally speaking - has cost me 'work' (e.g. I am a Notary Public) and missed opportunities as a 'Stripper' (yeah, I get calls for that stuff) occasionally, and other commercial enterprises albeit 'trite' on the surface perhaps!
Solution: leave - e.g. three straight messages - for me,.. otherwise I'd have to be a 'fuck'n idiot' or perhaps 'too high' to notice the light flashing whilst I am at my computer!!!
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Phone calls without messages?? Yeah,.. sure I am curious about a 'number' I may see show up on my phone (e.g. light flashing) but absent of message, to associate it with.. But however, my attitude is 'clear' about it,.. and my resolve is adamant; tough shit - dummy,.. should've left me a message!!!spacer If your call is absent of a message, then obviously,.. your call deserves the same 'lack of attention' (e.g. coming from me) likewise - stunod...
Translated: I don't really give one infinitesimal fuck who you are, and what you wanted with me! spacerTry me,.. many have really! spacerI don't return calls,.. even though such - i.e. initial call - is a valid excuse, if you're looking for one (not me!) to call back,.. in a curious context of sorts.. spacerI DON'T EVER!!!
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Conversely, to all the previous however,.. I am really 'alert' to calls 'when I get notices' via click actually! Why? I know that someone has just tendered 'a payment' to me,.. and that such was for me to sing 'live' via speaker-phone... I take that stuff seriously - e.g. singing is everything to me!... And I want to get an idea, of what a girl wishes (i.e. her song requests) to have me cover. So, I hope to discern that much perhaps,.. if that person has indeed left me a message. Moreover, if by chance, one of your song requests just happens to be; Frank Sinatra's 'Almost Like Being In Love' for me to cover?? I promise to 'belt it out' with everything I got - e.g. 'high' or not.. And of course,.. without hesitation or reservation about it - count on me to sing - my signature song -       TELL  ME  WHY      
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Matty Midura keep'n it 'cool' on July 13, 2008Matty Midura sings 'Tell Me Why' live and unplugged on September 28, 2010Trust me! I am an extravert - that is why I was a Barbizon Model 30 years ago, and a part time Stripper of late.. - I can perform 'solo' under some very difficult circumstances,.. singing is a 'piece of cake' compared to some of the other stuff I've done baby!!! As far as I am concerned: it's every Italian's dream,.. a stage, a spotlight, and a microphone...
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All Material & Quotes:
Property Of Matty Midura Productions Copyright 2001-2011


 

The Facts!

name:   *Matty Midura    /     nickname: thematt
other nickname: el comedulce
allias: Chet Johnson
gender: Male
age: 57
birthday: December 12, 1953
race: Caucasian
height: 5' 9"
weight: 185 lbs. (summer)
weight: 195 lbs. (winter)
body type: *Athletic
hair: Drk. Brown
eyes: Gray or Hazel / Brownish (depending on mood)
religion: Roman Catholic
politics: Democrat
astrological: Sagittarias
language: *English
marital status: Married (lives alone)
other status: Available (per 2/hr)
just because,..
children: Daughter (age 35)
grandchildren : Grandson (age 16)
pets: *Dog - Mountain Fiest / Terrier (mix)
wildlife: Groundhogs, Squirrels, Chipmonks (aka 'Red Squirrels) Exotic Birds (e.g. Cat Tails, 'spotted' Finches, Crows)
weirdo neighbors: Senior Citzens (e.g. over 75 years old..)
Matty Midura - pictured on June 8th, 2010. Better get your autographed photo of me now!!!
other nuisances: Brown Marmorated Stink Bug (e.g. little bugs that fart and look like fuck'n turtles!!!..) Silverfish (hmm,.. they don't look like fuck'n fish to me!..) Crickets (e.g. I use to have a few 'Fence Lizards' to feed on them - where are they, when you need them!!!)
drugs: Yeah sure,.. depends on what?
Not only do I take donations of the 'monetary' sort,.. but I will certainly humor other booty too - e.g. drugs! Besides,.. you may just 'get lucky' with me! I am less discriminative when I'm high really - I'm more friendly,.. and may even sing the theme song for 'GILLIGAN'S ISLAND' for you!!!

.Other Notes
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*Birth Name thumbnail of Matty Midura driver license 2007 Baptised as Matthew Midura, but nobody calls me that anymore - unless involving 'legal formalities' or, just being stupid with me! Moreover, I'll know if a caller 'knows me' personally, if they otherwise address me using anything but my birth first-name.
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I mean really,.. I was born with a "made for stardom" name actually, all I had to do was drop the 'hew' and simply add a 'y' to facilitate it.. Most 'Italians' have that (e.g. even the girls!..) by default, with our 'biblical names' at birth.. Whereas the rest of you people? I can only simply say; tough shit,.. your 'douchey names' are really a "collateral disparagement of your Eastern European roots, and otherwise of course - e.g. 'Mayflower' heritage!!!"
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*Birth Place Philadelphia, Pa. However, I grew up in Burlington City, New Jersey - once the greatest 'small city' just miles away from South Philly, as we call it.. And the home of; "some of the coolest people I ever knew,.." including myself of course, until around 1970!!!
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*Ethnicity Father - Italian / Mother - German-Jew (e.g. her mother, which was otherwise my grandmother..) & Native American (e.g. her father, which was otherwise my grandfather..) actually. For the record; "the best people I knew in my life were Italians!.." - yeah,.. I am biased.. Moreover, the 'Sopranos' are insulting to anyone that is otherwise a self respecting Italian!!! Additionally, it is the 21st Century 'Twin Peaks' (e.g. remember that crappy series??) of Mafia stereotyping... You'll never see Al Pacino, stooping to that level of bullshit...   "David Lynch (i.e. Twin Peaks / Sopranos) is an asshole and a fuck'n pervert - the proof is in the pudding!.. - his work is a manifestation of that!!!"
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*Body Yea it's real too!.. Moreover, I'll cover bets up to $300 actually, if any of you dopes think otherwise!!! See me on video by clicking here now... As with most links in this site - POP UPS MUST BE ENABLED - to view for your convenience. Otherwise you would have to come back here, and wait for the page to reload - dummy!!!
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*Politics Although I am 'liberal' as democrats go, I am conversely a 'hard baller' when it comes to defense & military issues! For example; "if I were to spend billions of dollars (via taxpayers money) bombing 'sand niggers' (i.e. Iraqi and/or Iranians) in the commission of a justified war of sorts,... I won't spend 'dime one' to rebuild the fuck'n place in the aftermath!!!"
Contact Information

*Office Phone 609-518-9909
additional info

*Notice: Some of you are really "pissing-me-off" by calling this number and 'hanging up' when I answer it.. So what is 'that' all about?.. Like to "encounter me from a safe distance" perhaps??.. The way it works, is like this stupid: you call, and I go - 'yeah' (when I answer the phone..) then you say something like; my name is (i.e. stupid caller..) and,.. where you are from (i.e. stupid company and/or stupid town usa!.. ) accordingly!.. Not just sit there silent, and give me 'dead air' dummy.. That is now why I use 'answer devices' of sorts!.. To 'piss-off' people who are inclined as previously illustrated..


*Cell Phone 609-346-2746   (24 hrs.)
*Fax e-fax 208-475-9514   {24 hrs.}
*Main Website http://www.mattymidura.com
*Email (personal) thematt@mattymidura.com
*Email (business) support@mattymidura.com

 

Location & Business Info

*Company Name Matty Midura Productions 2001-2011
*Public Service Notary Public - State Of New Jersey
             (commissioned since 1996)
*Address 1380 Monmouth Rd. Bldg. #2
*City Mount Holly   (Eastampton Twp.)
*State New Jersey
*Zip

08060-9641

*Country USA

 

Whois The Author - is he reputable?

Matty Midura - as per April 9th 2010..
Matty Midura site editor-creator

Matty Midura Productions 2001-2009

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